The Visitor

He visits again.

“Go away”, I tell him.

He lingers around,

“Leave me alone”, I tell him.

“Every time things are going well,” I tell him,

“You swoop in and mess everything up.”

“If I gain something, you’ll make me lose it;

If I build something, you’ll tear it down;

If I love someone, you’ll take them away;

If I enjoy something, you’ll steal the moments away;

Whatever I have, you never let me keep it forever.”

“Even when you’re not with me,

I feel your presence,

Never really knowing when you’ll reappear,

Never really knowing when you’ll come to claim what I have,

Creating an unease that underlies everything in my life.”

“I tried securing more and more things

To overcrowd you out of my life,

To build a fortress against your instability.

Yet the more I collected,

The more you took away.”

I wished for him to leave and never visit again.

Then came the storm.

It tore down everything I had,

everything I cared for,

everything I was,

and it didn’t stop.

“Do something!” I cried desperately to the visitor.

“Come back and take this storm away!”

He didn’t come for a long time,

But just when I was losing hope,

He appeared.

The storm cleared,

And slowly I rebuilt my life

with what remained standing.

From then on, whenever he visited,

I would treat him as the guest of honour,

As a friend, as family, and as my guide.

I needed him on my side

In times of difficulties,

So I accepted him

when times were good.

But he never took sides,

And for the things he took,

He always gave back

Somewhere, somehow.

Just when I accepted him for who he is,

And welcomed him into my life,

Without a word,

he left.

2010